Over-The-Line Tournament

 

If you find yourself in San Diego during the annual Over-The-Line Tournament on Fiesta Island, don’t miss the chance to check it out. It’s a pretty fuckin’ good time. It’s usually held in the middle of July and has been going on since the ‘50’s. The game itself, Over-The-Line, was invented on the beaches of San Diego and is a variation of softball that gets rid of all that unnecessary base running bullshit. The tournament is put on by the Old Mission Beach Athletic Club and is renowned for its adult themes, sexual overtones, and profuse consumption of alcohol. The unofficial motto is “beer, babes, and bats on the beach” and there are only five simple rules, known as the five Bs. Used to be the three Bs, now it’s the five. They are: no bottles, babies, bowsers, birds or boa constrictors. There were some fears that the recent alcohol ban on San Diego’s beaches would adversely affect the tournament, maybe even end the annual event all together. Happy to say, though, as of right now the tournament is in good standing with the city, which allows them to be granted special permits to allow alcohol for the duration of the tournament. During certain hours, patrons are allowed to bring their own booze and can consume it in any of the permitted areas.

The tournament itself is an extravaganza. It’s definitely worth checking out and you’re bound to have a good time. Might wanna leave the kids at home, though. You’re bound to see more tits hanging out here than at Mardi Gras. Okay… that’s an exaggeration, but it’s not unheard of for a titty or two to be on display. In fact, it’s quite common. They’ve even got a beauty pageant to crown Ms. Emerson, which is pronounced “’em ‘er some”, as in:

“Knock Knock”
“Who’s There?”
“Emerson”
“Emerson Who?”
“’em ‘er some nice titties ya got there”

This tournament is definitely an event for adults, but it’s an event for adults of all ages. Some people have been playing in this tournament for better than four decades. The great thing is that some of the funniest and most creative team names come from the senior division. Hell, the names are part of what makes the tournament fun. It’s fuckin’ hilarious hearing some of the team names announced over the loudspeaker. I can’t resist, I have to put a list of some of the names that I’ve heard or found. They’re great. Check some of these out:

Men:

2 Balls & 1 Blue Helmet
2 Jerks & A Squirt
3 Dingle Berries Hanging From A Moose’s Bung Hole
3 Live Bachelors, Non-Committal As We Want To Be
3 Loads Our Mother Should Have Swallowed
Big Sticks Throbbing For Long Licks
Bit My Tongue So I Soaked It In Cider
Clitty Litter
Cunning Linguists
Dances With Wombs
Daniel Boone, Davey Crocket, & 3 Others Who Eat Beavers
Danny Partridge Transvestite Dating Service
Don't Wear Your Hair Longer Than Your Dick
Fatal Erections
First Cum First Serve
Graphite Shafts With Perimeter Weighted Heads
Heat Seeking Moisture Missiles
Hey Lady Can We Ride Your Menstrual Cycle?
I Said I Could Fill Your Cavity, I Never Said I Was A Dentist
If You Want 12 Inches We Need A 4th Player
I'm Falling & I Can't Get It Up
If You're Not On My Face, You're Not On My Mind
L.A.P.D. Motto-We Treat Everyone Like A King
Make Me Hurt, Make Me Squirt, Make Me Breakfast
No More Diets, We Ate Jenny Craig
No Muff Too Tuff
Ooh Honey, I Can Feel Your Tonsils
Our Puds Stay Up Longer Than Hussein's Scuds
Our Sheep Put Out Like The Announcer’s Mom
Patriot Missle Condom Co. – We Stop Everything You Shoot
Put Your Hand There To Guess My Weight
Save A Tree, Eat A Beaver
Say The Wood: Fahrfukwoody
Sheep Don't Snivel
Teenage Mutant Nipple Teasers
The Best Job Is A Blow Job
The Episiotomy Stitch Lickers
The Supermen, Driving Their Pink Steel Down Lois' Lane
They're Curly So They Won't Poke Your Eye Out
Three Thirty-Two Ouncers Looking For Big Gulpers
Tickle My Pickle & Lick Up The Trickle
Tulips for Camel Toe
Two Studs & Our Gay Friend Rick
We May Be Ugly Elephants, But We Have Big Trunks
Well, It’s Not Gonna Suck Itself
We're Only 3 Inches, But Some Girls Like It That Wide

Female:

3 A Breast
3 Holes & No Balls
6 Buns & No Weenies
99% Virgin
Ball Busting Bitches From Hell
Barely Legal
Clitty Clitty Bang Bang
Drop Your Pants Around Your Ankles, You Make Me Shiver When You Deliver
Enemas, A Love Story
Fly Droppers
Go Deep – Go Very, Very Deep
Heineken, Put Your Hands On Our Cans
Hell On Heels
Helmet Buffers
I Don’t Care If Your Tongue Cramps, Keep Going
I'll Never Be Miss Emerson Cuz I Won't Suck The Chairman
Inches Do Count
Lick Me ‘til Ice Cream
Lip Service
Lusty, Rusty, & Dusty
M.O.M. - Mouth Organ Masters
No Flat Chicks
Of Course They Feel Strange, They're Real
Old Town Saloon-A-Tits
Operation Panty Shield
Pantyhose Twist My Lips
Purple Peter Eaters
Short Men Need Not Apply
Tease Me, Please Me, But Don't Disease Me
There's A Party In My Mouth & Everyone Is Coming
This Bush Doesn't Like Quayle
Throbbing Blue Vein Thrashers
We Floss Our Teeth, Not Our Butts
We Have Everything We Need, Except A Clue
We Have To Stroke Their Egos Too
We May Not Win, But We'll Lick Any Guys Team
We'd Rather Drink Brew Than Screw You

Don’t miss it, man. The Over-The-Line Tournament is a fuckin’ riot.